I just want to remind you that you’re not alone because I have walked in your shoes. I’ve spent all my time and energy worrying about this baby process to the point of completely shutting-out the world. Yes, welcome to the reality of womanhood and I ain’t ashamed to speak out about it! I struggled for 4 long years and it was exhausting! I was constantly battling and asking myself, what’s next? I don’t have any magic formula, or the least bit of credible advice for those who are struggling but to hold back on sharing what helped me would be a selfish thing to do. So I’m sharing my journey in hopes of giving you a little light at the end of the tunnel:
- Firstly, trust in God’s goodness. I had to dig deep into His words daily to allow my stubborn heart understand why God has put this desire in my heart and how to fulfill it in other ways if not bearing my own children. I don’t know how many times I battled back and forth with this but as I’ve shared before that when we are waiting for God and staying in His word it makes the waiting period more bearable. The most important thing to take away from this is finding that peace in your heart instead of constantly dwelling about the why and why not.
- Comparison is a theft of joy so don’t compare yourself. I remembered, Facebook was such a dreadful place for me during those years because all that popped up on my feed were my girlfriends announcing their pregnancies. Or at least it felt like everyone I knew was getting pregnant (effortlessly) except for me. I started to blame myself and think of all the things I may be doing wrong that was causing my infertility.
- R E L A X & take a trip! – I highly encourage you ladies to continue with your normal life as much as possible. When my husband and I started trying we decided to put everything “on hold.” It was a big mistake because it did not only take 4 years but overtime the hovering thought of “it” never happening really created a stressful environment without us even realizing it. Don’t stop your life and just go on your trips even if it’s to Mexico where there is the Zika virus (Kidding!) Back story: My husband and I hesitated for a whole year on whether or not to travel to Cancun because of the crazy stories we heard about the Zika’s virus. We ended up going anyway and nothing happened. We also didn’t get pregnant that year or the year after. However, we had a blast & no regrets about taking that trip!
- I hate to say this, but you have to change your diet and exercise! As much as we don’t want to believe our diet has anything to do with it, I personally think it does have a lot to do with it. I will tell you this much… before I got pregnant, I completely cut-out dairy products and red meat (you should read more about it.) I don’t know if that contributed to my pregnancy, but after 4 years of trying it doesn’t hurt to change a few things.
- Lastly, try out Acupuncture. This was introduced to me by a cousin who also shared the struggles of infertility. Of course the skeptical me took a full year to finally call and make an appointment. But Guess what? after 2 months of seeing an acupuncture I got PREGNANT! Let me know if you want to know more about my experience and I will do another post for you!
God works in mysterious ways and whether it happens today or next month, I hope you know much God loves you and how much you are worth it! Never forget: “there is purpose in your season of waiting.” —Megan Smalley